Older, but no wiser

There are so many self-talk voices, some encouraging, some, perhaps most, not; sometimes they get muddled and it’s not easy to tell which is helpful and which isn’t, which should be listened to and which ignored.

Sometimes even the true the voice of your own being can be inconvenient, telling you things you don’t know how to deal with, or don’t want to deal with.

So, for safety, or convenience, you deliberately lock those more troublesome voices away, because you no longer trust them, or know how to trust them. Or maybe you just don’t have time to listen. All that remains are the voices of banal chatter.

Then one day you think you want to open the door again, but it turns out there’s no-one waiting expectantly behind it, just a vacant space. Or maybe that’s the wrong metaphor, maybe it’s that the lock is seized, or maybe you lost the key. Whatever; either way you no longer have access to something which was once part of you.

That’s how it is with this blog. Whoever it was that used to write here, isn’t the guy who sits tapping the keys which form these words. Someone else sits in his place. Someone older, emptier, more remote; someone pliable under the forces of circumstance instead of challenging them; someone, in short, with nothing much to say.

Such does not make for good blogging.