Friday, April 04, 2008

“If you want to change your world, change the way you think about it.” 

Here we are then; day one of thirty days of reflection on the ways in which I perceive my world. Health warning: this is not about fine writing, this is about being honest with myself.

To kick off with, these are some of the lines of the song which plays constantly in my head. These are aspects of my real-time worldview, scribbled down as I was multi-tasking in a meeting at work, which might be why many are work related. Remember, I’m not saying these are true – I’m as intellectually capable as any of you are of giving the counter argument - nevertheless, rationality alone is insufficient to deal with them.

Near the top of the list is “I haven’t got time”; for the immediate purpose here, that may not be such a bad thing, since I wont have time for much validation or justification or censorship.
I lack power to influence
I have no time
My cv is crap (a.k.a. resumé for you transatlantic types)
I couldn’t get another job so I’m stuck in this one
I’m a crap verbal communicator
I’m tired. All the time.
In many ways I’m still a child – or think I am/behave like one in relationships
I’m actually cleverer/better/more insightful but my crap communication skills let me down
I had potential but I let myself down
I hate my job (well, maybe not hate, but we’re being black-and-white here)
I hate myself in my job (same qualifier as above)
I could do better
I have no real friends
I’m lonely; I miss real conversation

Notice anything? Every single one starts with an ‘I’ or equivalent. Not good. Clearly my world is very self-centred; that in itself is something worth seeking to change.

First thoughts: for at least two of those – “I hate my job” and “I hate myself in my job” - I know at least one thing I can do to turn the tables. I can apply the principle of Appreciative Inquiry (AI) – ask what’s working well, what’s good about my job and myself as I enact it, and then focus and build on those, rather than dwelling on the negative. Something for further exploration.

I’ll pick out some these for a closer look as these 30 days progress, but to redress the imbalance the next step feels as though it should be to take a look outwards – what do I see there?

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