Sunday, January 30, 2005

Groundhog Day? 

It's a long time since I've had such a vivid dream: in full colour, with almost photographic clarity, and a soundtrack as well.

I heard the sound of an aeroplane and looked up; high above were two light aircraft, then coming into view was a third, a tiny lightweight plane, built for low speeds and tight manoeuvres. Only this one was much, much lower than the others - almost skimming the ground. With a shock I saw it headed straight for the front wall of a house; surely there was no way it could pull up? (The scale was bit strange - the plane was no toy, but it had about the size and turning circle of a car). But it managed an impossible manoeuvre, pulling into a vertical climb with it's wheels almost touching the wall of the house, then looping the loop - it may have escaped first time round, but it seemed it could only postpone the inevitable, not escape it - the best it could do was to endlessly repeat that avoidance manoeuvre. So it looped once more, but on third attempt stalled just after it had cleared to roof, and fell back to the ground in front of the house. I ran to help, but somehow someone had come out of the house and whisked the pilot - his brother, it seems - indoors, traumatised but apparently not seriously injured. But I couldn't go in.

It makes sense; I'm in that plane, without the height or speed to clear the obstacle ahead. I've already avoided it a number of times in my career; looped the loop to escape, but always the manoeuvre has led me back to the same place. And I can see it coming again.

So, this time, will I crash? To break out of the cycle, perhaps I have to. And if so, scary though it may be, perhaps I escape uninjured, but find myself on the other side of that door.

True or not, I can see how that reflects what's hidden at the back of my mind.

Later edit: Just thought I ought to add: the parallel I was drawing above is with a long term career issue, nothing to do with the previous post's worries.

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