Older, but no wiser

Just a few hours after posting that last entry, I was hit by another bout of virus-induced fever. Constant, pounding headache, untouched by paracetamol; shivering, sweating, moaning, aching, throwing up… I’ll spare you the full details. It wasn’t pleasant.

I call it virus-induced, but I wouldn’t like to say which side of the mind-body connection is cause and which is effect. Did the fever cause my depressed state of mind? Or were the physical symptoms an outwards manifestation in an inner struggle? More unanswered questions…

Today feels a little better. Physical systems have rebooted successfully and I look no more like a crippled geriatric than usual. Movement around the house is now possible. The men with hammers in my head have quietened down a little (wish I could say the same for the keys on this keyboard; it seems that overnight someone has sneaked in and connected the keys up to an electronic drum synthesiser).

Today I hover in a state of temporary grace, relieved that the fever has passed, not yet ready to consider the questions that I think it has raised. Because I do see a link between the turmoil in mind and the turmoil in body.